Helping everyone
BY PHILLIPE & JORGE
As the unprecedented and ongoing relief efforts to aid the injured or the
survivors of those killed in WTC attack continue, one substantial group of
people is in danger of falling through the cracks. These are the tens of
thousands of low-wage workers (the janitors, cleaners, custodial staff, etc.)
who generally work at night and therefore were not in the buildings when they
were attacked. But they lost their jobs and their incomes. Most had no health
insurance or other benefits, most lived from paycheck to paycheck and, unlike a
lot of the more skilled white-collar workers who survived and whose lives were
also cruelly disrupted, may not be able to find employment as readily.
Recently we read a story about the possibility of supplying the families of
each of those who perished with $1 million. Obviously, we are for helping
everyone as best we can, but we do hope that those relief agencies and the
myriad of ad hoc funds set up to serve those impacted will take a broad and
comprehensive approach to the many, many victims of this horror.
Massholes
An excellent piece in the October 1 edition of The New Republic by
Michael Crowley, later echoed by the Urinal's editorial pages, about how
Massport -- the Massachusetts Port Authority, the agency responsible for
security at Logan Airport and the absolute scandal known as the Big Dig -- is
just a repository for low-rent political hacks who get no-show jobs thanks to
their connections. Indeed, the head of airport security, former state trooper
Joseph Lawless, got his job because he proved his merit through two years of
being former Governor William Weld's chauffeur and, get this, he replaced the
former security chief who had been Kitty Dukakis's driver. Wow. Bow-wow.
In fact, the Federal Aviation Administration had issued many warnings about
Logan's lack of enforcement, which had three times the average number of
security breaches of any major airport. But did these political punks take any
notice?You tell us, and the hundreds of people who were on board the jets that
hit the World Trade Center. This is more than a shame and a scandal, and not
only should the people supposedly in charge -- like Lawless -- face justice,
but also Bill Weld and Paul Celluci, for abetting this crime.
In a more sobering note, a friend of P&J's 14-year-old son, who was flying
to Salt Lake City from Logan last weekend, had his backpack opened and the nail
file of his nail clipper pried off in a security measure. That'll show 'em.
Loose talk
Pt. 1: Two wild and crazy guys
Remember, they call him "The Independent Man," not "The Responsible Man." WHJJ
talk-show host John DePetro certainly distinguished himself last week when he
made the decision to air live a wildly speculative phone conversation with
former Channel 12 news anchor Jim Roberts. Roberts was in Newport observing the
police pull over and detain two men from the Czech Republic. Roberts noticed
that, among other things, their beat-up Escort LX with Virginia plates
contained various razor knives, numerous photos taken of the World Trade Center
on the day of the attack, publications with pictures of Osama Bin Laden, cell
phones, and a global positioning satellite receiver. So, like any patriotic
American, Roberts immediately called DePetro's show.
That was enough for Roberts and DePetro to believe they had a real exclusive
(that the terrorist circle had now spread to bust-out Euro-trash who had
neglected to stop drinking when their US visas had expired?) and, needless to
say, Talk Radio Nation started the inevitable speculation. Was the Newport
water supply now at risk? Since the Newport water is virtually undrinkable in
the best of times, this might have taken some time to establish.
Meanwhile, Tom Connell, spokesman for the US Attorney's office in Providence,
had to rush down to the City by the Sea to, as he put it, "allay and quiet down
half-baked suspicions." Thank you, master chefs Roberts and DePetro.
Pt. 2: Quick, put on this designer prayer shawl
The New York Post gossip column "Page Six" reported on September 27 that
at a Talk magazine staff meeting the week after the WTC attack, Head
Ramrod Tina Brown told her editors, "Okay, someone has to infiltrate the
Taliban."
Will the Bud-I disrespect the Bing?
Last week, P&J noticed this small entertainment listing in the Other Paper:
"Badabingbar, upstairs at Mediterraneo, 134 Atwells Ave., Providence.
International, Fri. Strictly Latin, Sat. 10 pm until closing. $15, VIP $25."
Your superior correspondents immediately grasped the difficult position this
puts our mayor, the mighty Bud-I, in. For a number of years now, Mediterraneo
has been one of Hizzoner's favorite dining spots. But the Bud-I has also gone
on the record as being offended by what he sees as ethnic stereotyping on the
HBO series, The Sopranos. When Sopranos producers approached him
about appearing on the show, the mayor demurred (a pretty strong statement for
the local king of all media).
And, you'll recall the party the Bud-I threw for the cast and crew of his
favorite TV show, the even less believable Providence, at his former
Power Street residence when the mayor ejected Vo Dilun radio personality Joan
Edwardson from the premises for making what he deemed ethnically insensitive
remarks (fuhgeddaboutit!). If one were compiling a group of local
Sopranos critics, the mayor would have to head the list.
So what does the Bud-I do now that one of his fave restaurants has decided to
name their upstairs bar after The Sopranos' fictitious strip club?
Should he make a statement and stop eating at Mediterraneo? Should he mention
his displeasure to the owners? Or should he make a complete 180 and start
proclaiming his love of The Sopranos, begin hanging out in the "VIP"
section and offer keys to the city to Big Pussy, Paulie Walnuts, Tony and
series creator, David Chase?
Infinite and Eternal Desert Justice and Freedom Storm
P&J got sandbagged by our print deadline last week after we wrote about how
stupid the name "Infinite Justice" was, just before our military geniuses came
up with an even more insipid title for our anti-terrorist effort, "Operation
Eternal Freedom." Obviously your superior correspondents were not asked for our
ideas on a snappy and relevant name, but we will nonetheless offer our own
choice, which we believe really indicates the way people feel these days, as
well as conveys the message we would like our enemies to take heed of. It is:
"Operation Knock-Knock," as in:
America: Knock-knock
Terrorists: Who's there?
A: U.S.
T: U.S. who?
A: U.S. gonna get your ass kicked.
You're welcome. -- P&J
Homeless
P&J have caught the Urinal being insensitive to victims of crimes in the
past, but by now the paper is fairly up to speed in the fairness to all
category. That's why we were taken aback on Sunday morning when we read
the BeloJo story by West Bay bureau reporter S.I. Rosenbaum about East
Greenwich police chief Lawrence Campion, who was arrested for punching Laurene
Zickendrath at the Grille On Main Street, an East Greenwich bar and
restaurant. Here's what caught our eye after the fourth paragraph: "The
state police would not give out Campion's address . . . Zickendrath, 45, of 98
George Street . . . ."
Well, nothing like publishing the name and address of the victim while not
even trying to get the police chief's address, is there? P&J called the
very charming Ms. Rosenbaum Sunday morning to inquire about this tasteful
reporting and protection of the perpetrator, and she said the state police
would not give out Campion's address "to protect his privacy," and also that "I
was on deadline." Gosh, must be a bitch trying to figure out where this
meathead lives, no? (Incidentally, Campion doesn't even live in East
Greenwich. Quite the community servant. We also do happen to know where he
lives, a fact check that took all of one phone call.) Indeed it was a very dead
line S.I. was on, as she had to be informed by your superior correspondents
that not only was Ms. Zickendrath on the wrong end of a beating, but that she
is the daughter of former Warwick police chief Jack Coutcher, certainly a fact
worth relating in this incident.
Sleep tight, Wooward & Bernstein
And as a final note to the reduction of the BeloJo to a half-baked news source,
talented young reporter Ariel Sabar is departing for the Baltimore Sun,
while Morgan McVicar, one of the few people who understands education issues in
The Biggest Little, has summarily handed in his cards. The environment on
Fountain Street is becoming like Chechnya.
But he's in great physical shape
Phillipe and Jorge attended the final public meeting on the proposed container
megaport at Quonset Point on September 18, and it was another cheap charade
foisted on the public by the Economic Development Corporation. After the
obligatory no-show by Governor Bigfoot, who is too gutless to publicly defend
the plan he is trying to railroad through, and the usual de-pantsing of EDC
director "Steamy Tom" Schumpert, the audience was once again treated to the
bold-faced lies of the consultants and mediator Steven Davis, which can't even
come close to passing the laugh test.
With public sentiment running essentially 99.9 percent against the port,
P&J were surprised to read in a Sunday Urinal profile about Steamy Tom by
Bob Wyss, "[Although] the state and the country appear headed for a recession .
. . Schumpert remains positive about the future. He even says it is still
possible to build a container port at Quonset Point." Too bad Schumpert failed
to mention it would be over a few thousand dead bodies. He also gushed to Wyss,
"Fiscal integrity is back . . . No one thinks anymore that the Economic
Development Corporation is fiscally irresponsible."
No, Tom, just ethically irresponsible, which seems to us much worse. Jump on
the bus to Lincoln Downs with Bigfoot, Tommy. It's the first stop for The
Missing Linc on the way to Wellfleet.
Send wine and roses and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j[a]phx.com.
Issue Date: October 5 - 11, 2001
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