Send me your problems in care of Dr. Lovemonkey at the Providence Phoenix, 150 Chestnut Street, Providence, RI 02903, or by e-mail to rcheeks[a]phx.com.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have a dilemma. I need money for college and to pay bills. But in today's downward spiraling money market, it's hard to find flexible, meaningful employment. I am very interested in becoming a dominatrix. My problem is that my boyfriend is unaware of this. I know that if I ask, he will not want me to go into this field. Would it be wrong for me to do this without his consent?
-- Desperate to Dominate, Mistress Maranda

Dear Mistress Maranda,
Let's not use the word "consent." This implies that you need permission. Yes, it would be wrong for you to do this without "conferring" with him. It is only fair and right that you tell your boyfriend about what you'd like to do. If he's strongly opposed, decide which you desire more: your boyfriend or being a dominatrix. If you're convinced that he'll be opposed and you want to continue your relationship, drop the idea. No need in mentioning it to him. But if you really want to be a dominatrix and your relationship is secondary, drop the boyfriend.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Is it impolite to bring water with you on a date?
-- Larry

Dear Larry,
You didn't have to ask me about this. Moe and Curly could have indicated that you always do better dating another human being. Bringing water, a stapler, or a bag of used cork on a date is sure

to be a tedious and make for an uneventful evening. Try to avoid going out with inanimate objects and stick with the humans.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
In a recent column, you seemed to indicate that movies on the Lifetime (television for women) network leave something to be desired. This appears to be a slur against women and women's television. Your seeming misogyny is quite disappointing.
-- A.F.

Dear A.F.,
Dr. Lovemonkey's contention that most Lifetime movies are of dubious quality is hardly proof of misogyny or even a bad attitude toward women. I also believe that World Wrestling Federation extravaganzas are fairly worthless. Do they not draw a large audience of (mostly) men? The fact is that men and women can do much better than Lifetime movies and the World Wrestling Federation.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I've got a blind date set up for a couple of weeks from now. Not only have I never met this woman, I don't know anything about her. Here's my problem: the plans are to go out for dinner. Are there any kinds of restaurants I should avoid? Is there any sort of surefire place to go? I don't know anything about her ethnicity or if she's a vegetarian or anything. I'm a bit perplexed as to what to do.