Send me your problems in care of Dr. Lovemonkey at the Providence Phoenix, 150 Chestnut Street, Providence, RI 02903, or by e-mail to rcheeks[a]phx.com.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
For the past five months I've been going out with a great guy. We are both 24 years old. Prior to our relationship, he was with another woman for a little over three years. (It may also be important to know that they had broken up before we met.)

Anyway, it seems that she's unable to let things go. She has been spreading false rumors and stories about me. Some of them have gotten back to my boyfriend, but we've talked and he believes me when I tell him that what he's hearing isn't true.

Her campaign of hate has been going on for a few months and doesn't show any sign of stopping. Is there anything I can do about it? Should I continue to hang in there or should I consider ending this relationship because of all the baggage and hassle?
-- B.B.

Dear B.B.,
You say this is a great guy and it sounds like everything is going well except for this ex-girlfriend situation. Don't let the old girlfriend break things up. Hang in there. It sounds like your boyfriend is sticking with you and isn't buying into the ex's campaign. Eventually, she'll get tired of this and move on with her life. It may take time, but if you and your boyfriend continue to present a united front, her troublemaking will fall flat. If people approach you about things she's said, just say, "I'm very sorry that she's feeling so desperate." Ignore the vicious rumors and refuse to give in to another's jealousy and bad behavior.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months. He's very honest and sincere, and all of my friends tell me how fortunate I am to be going out with such a great guy. The problem is that he has some political and social ideas that I don't fully accept or go along with. For instance, one time when we were in a store, he chastised me for admiring some leather jackets because of his views on animal rights. This is rather odd since he's not a vegan or anything and I've actually seen him eat hamburgers.

Another time he complained about me ordering an alcoholic drink, because of the evil distillery owners. Yet he is an inveterate pot smoker. He also holds certain grudges against Starbucks and Wal-Mart (but not Target!). This is getting to be seriously irritating. Any suggestions?
-- Mr. Sensitivity's Mate

Dear Mr. Sensitivity's Mate,
Time to lose Mr. Sensitivity. While there's a certain justification for his feelings about distilleries, Wal-Mart, and the like, it sounds like his approach is rather scattershot. He may be trying to develop a certain consciousness and perspective on how to deal with a world that he finds hypocritical and greedy, but this consciousness is still in an embryonic stage and he's being arrogant and hypocritical himself.

It's a good thing to try to make principled decisions in an all-too-frequently unprincipled world, but when people start making pronouncements about what's right and wrong to your family, friends, and loved ones, they can get a bit carried away with themselves. Do yourself a favor, break off the intimate relationship with this guy and let him grow up a little. Either that or learn to live with his Senor Self Righteousness because he's a work in progress.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
In last week's column, a wife described finding a mildly suspicious e-mail on her husband's AOL account. She wrote, "It seems like a networking kind of correspondence, but for some reason my husband has deleted all the e-mails from this woman. I can see his responses to her e-mails, however, which seem pretty innocent." I think you should point out that her husband may have deleted the e-mails simply because they weren't important. I am not sure about AOL, but some e-mail providers offer only limited space and it makes sense to delete silly banter if it has no meaning.
-- Anonymous

Issue Date: June 14 - 20, 2002