There's no such thing as surefire romantic music because people have different tastes. There is, however, surefire non-romantic music. For instance, I've never heard of a romantic liaison brought on by listening to the 1970 masterpiece Lick My Decals Off, Baby by Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band.

There are those who think Johnny Mathis is the end-all in make-out music. At the same time, others might find him far too saccharine. A clue to how a woman might feel about Johnny Mathis might be ascertained by seeing how many sweaters she has from Talbots. A lot of

Talbots sweaters would mean she probably digs him. But if her entire wardrobe is black, you might want to check out Leonard Cohen.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'd like some advice on dealing with an acquaintance who persists in hitting on my boyfriend. "Nick" and I have been together for three years. We met through mutual friends who we've known for a long time. It's well established -- both between ourselves and among our friends -- that we're a happy, sickeningly smoochy couple.

Recently, a female acquaintance, part of the same circle of friends, started hitting on Nick. At a party one night, she told me of her admiration for us and for Nick, and how she'd go for him if he wasn't involved with me. I took this as some kind of gauntlet, because she proceeded to corner Nick in conversation while posing provocatively in front of him, ignored me when I joined the conversation, and later attempted to touch Nick inappropriately. We left shortly thereafter.

This gal has since made it a point to corner Nick at parties, sidle up to him, and stand too close. She doesn't do this to other men, just him. She recently included him in an e-mail sent to a group of people, inviting him to go dancing, without sending me one.

As much as I know that she's not Nick's type, I can't help being offended by this woman's behavior. My boyfriend ignores her whorish overtures while maintaining a friendly demeanor, and he laughingly advises me to do the same. I agree with his "rise above it" sentiment, but have been unable to adopt it.

I feel like I'm looking for exactly the right phrase to make her cut it out. Alternately, is there something my boyfriend should do -- like, I dunno, walk away when she starts up, or spit on her -- that might discourage her from continuing this disrespectful behavior? Avoiding her entirely would be ideal, but we're bound to run into her at least a half-dozen times a year and I'm tired of this bullshit.

Note: The letter about "speed-dating" from Lilly a few weeks back continues to generate mail. Here's one final word from Brian M.: "There is something called eight-minute dating, which sounds similar to what was asked about. They even have a Web site, with its own Boston-area listings. They have events periodically at Boston and Cambridge restaurants. They have different nights for different age groups. The Web site is www.8minutedating.com."

Issue Date: April 19 - 25, 2002