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The big easy
by Rudy Cheeks
![[Dr. Lovemonkey]](/standard/image/headers/LOVEMONKEY.gif)
Send me your problems in care of Dr. Lovemonkey at the Providence Phoenix,
150 Chestnut Street, Providence, RI 02903, or by e-mail to
rcheeks[a]phx.com.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I went out with a guy a few weeks ago and we had sex on the first date. I
really like him a lot and I really wanted to do it, but I'm worried that maybe
this was not a good idea. Is there a rule about this? Is it always a bad idea?
So far things have continued to be great and I'm even more impressed and
interested in him as time has gone on.
Dear Wondering,
Although families differ, it's generally considered serious when a date is
brought to a traditional family dinner. Although I can understand your
reluctance to engage in a long-distance relationship, your guy is obviously
struggling with it. Sure, he's grasping; undoubtedly, he's wrestling with the
whole commitment issue. I suspect a decision to either commit or break it off
entirely is not far off. Whatever it is, I hope things work out for the best
for the both of you.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
There's this guy who I know from work. Well, I don't really know him, I
just see him all the time. We've never really talked, just sort of nodded to
each other a few times. I'm really attracted to this guy and soon I'm going to
be leaving this office and taking a new job. What I want to know is, would it
be inappropriate for me to ask him to lunch, seeing as I don't really know him
or anything? Do you think that I would come out looking like a fool?
Dear S.J.,
I searched the archives of the "Out There" columns since the beginning of this
year and was unable to find an article (or even a reference to) the "quick"
dating method. Perhaps it ran somewhere else in the paper or maybe your friend
saw it in another publication. If any of our readers recall seeing this, drop a
line to Dr. Lovemonkey and I'll pass along the information.
While I don't know anything about this quick dating, a five-minute interview
would not seem too different from sizing someone up in any other situation in
which you're spending a short amount of time. In fact, the daily non-structured
experience may be more telling since everyone in this "quick" scenario is aware
that they're being scrutinized and are likely to try to be on their best and
most charming behavior.
As you indicated, it's more difficult to meet potential dates or mates when
you are older, primarily because so many of the folks in your age bracket have
settled down and are not as socially active. Regardless of your age, however,
one has to leave the house and involve him or herself in some sort of social
endeavor. The best method is to find those social endeavors that you enjoy and
are comfortable with. Anything from book clubs to nightclubs, square dancing to
volunteer services, is a good possibility if you enjoy it and interacting with
others is an inherent component.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I saw in the news recently where Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears have
broken up. Do you think that there is a way that I could meet Britney? I'm sure
that if she got to know me, she'd really like me. Obviously this is a difficult
and delicate situation. Any suggestions?
Dear Lonely Stud,
I certainly hope that you're under the age of 24 or so. If you're older, march
right over to a shrink's office and explain your conundrum. Then go directly to
the police station and turn yourself in. I'm sure there are some law
enforcement professionals who could help you to come up with some appropriate
charges (stalking, perhaps).
If, however, you are under the age of 24, my first bit of advice would be to
stop referring to yourself as a "stud." There are not too many females who find
this attractive. If you want to meet Britney Spears, it would be helpful to be
a major media celebrity yourself, or, at the very least, a multimillionaire.
It's been my observation that these are the only people who just happen to
bump into the likes of major recording and film stars. Civilians, even earnest
civilians, who attempt to make contact generally have to figure out how to
explain their way past her security detail -- whose job is to make sure that
she doesn't come into casual contact with civilians. You should set your sights
on meeting people who aren't in such high demand.
Issue Date: March 29 - April 4, 2002
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