Archive
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Simple needs
by Rudy Cheeks
![[Dr. Lovemonkey]](/standard/image/headers/LOVEMONKEY.gif)
Send me your problems in care of Dr. Lovemonkey at the Providence Phoenix,
150 Chestnut Street, Providence, RI 02903, or by e-mail to
rcheeks[a]phx.com.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I need a boyfriend.
Dear Belinda,
Here are some of the things I need: a drop in fuel oil prices this winter;
fifth-row seats for the opera; a really good thesaurus; and a battery-operated
screwdriver (actually, it's my wife, Mrs. Lovemonkey, who desires the
battery-operated screwdriver).
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My girlfriend is a big-time hypocrite. She's married and has two children,
but she's not really in love with her husband. Yet she refuses to be in bed
with me because she doesn't want to cheat on her husband. She said she wouldn't
marry me anyway, because she doesn't want to be legally bound to me, but she
already is. She's such a hypocrite!an I explain to him that there's nothing wrong with my being with
his sister?
Dear Getting Fed Up,
Are you interested in a committed and healthy relationship? If so, why are you
running around with a married woman? Stop seeing this woman. If you want just
to have someone in your bed, there are many options and opportunities. But if
you'd like to be in a relationship that is about healthy choices and mutual
respect, rule number one is to start with someone who isn't married or
otherwise in an intimate relationship. Stop complaining, you bonehead, and go
do the right thing.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I just graduated from college last year and have been in a relationship for
three years. I find that I'm falling now for a guy who I became friendly with
in college. He's in a wheelchair, which is one of the reasons I'm attracted to
him. He's very sensitive and funny.
I had a fling with him and I told my boyfriend (we're engaged to be married
this winter). My boyfriend forgave me, but I just can't get the other guy out
of my mind. Please help!
Dear Unsure What To Do,
Break off the engagement. You're not ready for marriage. You are not ready for
a committed relationship, either. And what's the deal with the wheelchair? Is
it the wheelchair you're attracted to or the guy? I knew someone who broke up
with a blind guy when she realized that it was really his guide dog that she
was attracted to. They're living happily ever after and the former beau has a
new, more loyal guide dog.
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm 35 and have had some bad luck in my relationships. My ex-husband
committed adultery and I had another relationship with a guy that didn't work
out. I went to see a psychic not too long ago and she told me that my
grandmother, who died almost 10 years ago, was looking after me, and she said I
would meet someone named "Frank" who would be a good match for me.
Meanwhile, I met this guy over the Internet whose name is Lawrence. We
chatted for quite a few weeks, exchanged photographs and eventually made plans
to meet. When I finally met him, he turned out to not look so much like his
photograph. I think it was him, although from 10 years ago.
I've always gone out with these really good-looking guys, and Lawrence
wasn't really in their league. But we did go out to dinner and he was really
nice. I really liked him, and after dinner, we made out and that was nice.
After that, we stayed in touch over the Internet. He's continued to be nice and
wants to continue to see me.
Dear Wondering,
Dr. Lovemonkey is not able to comment on the "psychic" angle. I've seen some
of these psychics on television commercials. They are quite entertaining and
quite obviously frauds, but that doesn't mean there isn't something to
extra-sensory perception.
Ignoring for the minute the Lawrence/Frank phenomenon, you met this man and
seem to like him. The fact that your unsuccessful past relationships were with
men who were very good-looking might mean that the basis of your attraction was
a bit lacking in depth. Your new prospect sounds different and perhaps better.
If you find Lawrence/Frank attractive and interesting, go for it.
Issue Date: October 5 - 11, 2001
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