Dear Virgin in Warwick,
First, I hope that you've both looked into some basic stuff like birth control, and if he's been sexually active, testing for HIV and other STDs. That said, it could be that your boyfriend is sexually inexperienced. Young heterosexual men are generally thrilled with large-breasted females. Obviously your boyfriend is not of the blasé, "If you've seen one, you've seen 'em both" school.

Perhaps when you're on some neutral turf (not in the throes of passion, but, say, having lunch at the local Hooters), you could discuss what it is that makes him feel uncomfortable about your breasts. Meanwhile, the thing for you to remember is that this is his problem. There is nothing wrong with you or your breasts -- a fact that has undoubtedly been reiterated by numerous other young males of your acquaintance. Let's hope your boyfriend soon gets around to enjoying your breasts as much as many other people do.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm a 21-year-old male and I find myself stuck in a big dilemma. I'm really attracted to this girl who is 18, but she is (here's the dilemma part) my best friend's sister. He has told me in the past, on a number of occasions, that his sister was off-limits. I think his reasoning is that he thinks my having a relationship with her would have a negative impact on our friendship.

Let me tell you, he is my best friend and has always been there for me. We've been buddies for years and do everything together.

But I've started to see his sister and I really am crazy about her. He has picked up on this (which wasn't too difficult since they live together), and I can tell he's very disappointed with me, but he hasn't actually confronted me about it. If it came down to having to choose between one or the other, I would definitely choose him over her, but I don't think that it has to come down to that. How can I explain to him that there's nothing wrong with my being with his sister?

Dear Rolf
While you may find it unfair that your friend would have made a stipulation about not getting involved with his sister, the fact is that he did, you apparently accepted the condition, and you've betrayed his trust. You should have had a conversation with him about your intentions before you started getting involved with his sister. Basically, you owe your friend an apology.

Your being involved with his sister will change the dynamic of your relationship, and there's a good chance that you may actually have to choose between him and her. It need not be that way. But it might come to that, particularly if you're not serious about this relationship, and trying to read between the lines of your letter, I suspect that this is the case. It sounds like another in a series of girlfriends. Strange as it may seem to you, and as arbitrary as your friend's insistence also must have seemed, he was probably right when it comes right down to it.

I suspect he knew you to be somewhat of a "player" and that a relationship with his sister wouldn't be a good thing. Apologize to him and, unless you are really serious about the sister (and since you said you'd opt for the brother's friendship, it doesn't appear this is the case), break it off and apologize to her as well.

Issue Date: September 28 - October 4, 2001