"I can grow hair on my face, can you?" "Nanananana!"

Many American boys have heard this taunt and challenge, part of an adolescent test of manhood, along with such silly things as drinking too much beer and hurling oneself against inanimate objects. It's our juvenile culture. It's also part of the test that grown-up men in Baghdad must pass, along with the ability to murder, torture and repress, if they want to work in Saddam Hussein's government, to gain entry to his inner circle -- Saddam's Court of Mustache.

All of the top Iraqi leaders have the mustache. Take a close look at the next video or still picture of Saddam Hussein and his henchmen, and you'll see that each has a regulation bristler on their lip. Saddam's mustache is meant as a projection of his masculine power, according to Brenda McNally, owner of Scrunch for Hair in Wakefield, but she thinks the Iraqi leader is hiding something. What's the giveaway? His mustache! McNally says the purpose of it is concealment. "You can't trust a man with a mustache," she says. It is also a sign of "insecurity, unhappiness and defeat." McNally and some other women won't kiss a man with a mustache for fear of what he might be hiding emotionally, so there.

As a top expert in the field of criminal psychiatry, Dr. Caren DeBernardo, director of forensic services for the Sheppard-Pratt Psychiatric Hospital in Baltimore, is at home with serial killers and sadistic types. What else does the Court of Mustache say about Saddam? "That he is a manipulative, deceitful person that uses power to make himself feel better," she says. DeBernardo says the Court of Mustache indicates that Saddam loves himself . . . a bit too much. His need to surround himself with people who look like him, and idealize him, indicates that he is an extreme narcissist.

All of the mustaches around Saddam are objects for his desire -- little mini-me's, more evidence of the true object of his desire, himself. DeBernardo says the projection of the mustache hides Saddam's deep insecurities from childhood. He was raised in an abusive environment by an aggressive, dominating father, who beat young Saddam. Now that he's grown, he plays the know-it-all bully to avoid further victimization. All of the beautiful palaces, wives, and self-portraits (which we just blew up) were attempts to shore up his self-esteem (it must now be at a low point).

If President George W. Bush called upon DeBernardo, her advice on catching Saddam would be similar to what she's told law enforcement about catching a narcissist: "Use it against him, bait him, send out clues and pretend you're stupid, feed his ego that he is smarter, and his braggertly need to bully-talk will enable you to catch him." Hmmm, has President Bush's blunt simple-speak been a ruse, after all?

Issue Date: April 4 - 10, 2003