A delightful dilemma

Far from the halls of justice in Washington, DC — where Dubya the Dumb is trying to appoint more right-wing fanatics than you could find at a barbecue in Crawford, Texas — the Biggest Little finds itself in a delightful dilemma regarding a vacancy on the state Supreme Court.

First, Governor Don " The Don " Carcieri threw the Democratic leadership a bone by appointing diminutive Warwick old boy pol Frank Flaherty to fill John Bourcier’s seat on the Supremes. Now, he’s tabbed Paul Suttell to take the place of the late associate justice Victoria Lederberg. Bigfoot had previously chosen Suttell to replace Bourcier, but the judge was left hanging when his allotted time for being considered ran out prior to last November’s election.

As we’ve said before, Phillipe and Jorge believe Suttell, a Family Court judge, to be an excellent choice. He is fair, caring, intelligent, and enjoys a good chuckle. However, there’s another highly touted candidate who will be forever near and dear to P&J’s hearts in the person of Superior Court Judge Rogeriee Thompson. In almost any other circumstance, we would be banging the drum for the honorable Mr. Suttell. But now that Representative Joe Almeida, head of the legislative Minority Caucus, is announcing his opposition to Suttell — in favor of Rogeriee — we support opening the door to her appointment, despite our friend’s Paul’s many good qualities.

Without getting into a PC mode, your superior correspondents believe Ms. Thompson would bring many symbolic things to the Supremes, as well as her recognized intellect and superb qualities as a jurist. Appointing a black woman would send a wonderful message, breaking new ground and adding diversity to the bench, as well as honoring another woman.

We sympathize with the way in which Mr. Suttell has twice had to jump through the hoops to reach consideration before the General Assembly. But the challenges Rogeriee has already overcome in her rise to the Superior Court bench more than match those faced, albeit in a different form, by Suttell. P&J hope that other legislators hear out Representative Almeida, and realize what a wonderful chance they have to break through yet another layer of tacit discrimination that has existed in Vo Dilun’s legal system without a drop in integrity, talent, or credibility. Time to shine, ladies and gents.

Biz babble

While P&J quite admire many of the talented people on Little Rhody’s Economic Policy Council, we wish they, along with our former corporate exec-cum-governor, Don Carcieri, would speak English instead of the bizbabble that emerged during their last meeting. In speaking with a Urinal reporter about the council’s " vision statement, " a meaningless New Age term, The Don said, " The ultimate goal is an economic strategy to get the state to perform at certain metrics. " Huh? Does he mean we have to run the 100 meters in 10.2 seconds?

The Don was backed up in his boardroom babble by Anne Szostak, chair and CEO of Fleet Rhode Island who, in a Clintonesque parsing, said, " Small can imply narrowness. What do you do with small? " We’re not sure, darlin’, we’re still working on what " is " is.

This kind of verbal mumbo-jumbo is part of why the public trusts business executives about as much as a carnival barker. Just keep it plain and simple, boss, because you impress no one when you start into the Wharton-style business jargon. P&J’s vision statement involves imagining a world in which CEOs don’t get paid more than 500 times the wages of their firm’s typical employee.

Martha, my dear

Could there have been a better image than the plastic Martha Stewart doing her version of a perp walk, underneath a designer umbrella when she left court after being indicted and arraigned for securities fraud and lying to federal investigators, among other charges? Even P&J thought the courtroom artists’ sketches of her were a bit over the top in maliciously making her look like a crone. That was until we saw the TV clips in which Martha made the Wicked Witch of the West look like the magazine model Ms. Stewart had once been.

Like the entire country, P&J are reveling in the arrogant control freak Stewart’s problems, but they’re really small potatoes compared to the major corporate criminals, like those at Enron. Oh, forgot about them didn’t you? Perhaps that’s because they’re conveniently lying low and no doubt counting out the money they’ll have to spread around to beat the rap against them. Our old pal Kenny Boy Lay has been noticeably absent from the news media of late, yet he and his partners ruined the lives of hundreds of people without bating an eye, filling their own bank accounts with money that should go to those they blatantly scammed for their own benefit. It would be a real service to humanity if a major news outlet like USA Today gave us day-to-day updates on the court cases against these corporate shysters, before our easily benumbed populace entirely forgets about them, and they end up having cocktails at 3 with Robert Vesco on some non-extraditing Caribbean isle.

Singing in the Raines

Phillipe and Jorge know a few former and current employees of the media’s gray lady, the New York Times. So we also know that there are more than one or two folks who couldn’t be happier to have seen executive editor Howell Raines and his sidekick, Gerald Boyd, the paper’s managing editor, slinking out of the Times’ 42nd Street building like they were going into one of the old porn movies that used to grace " The Deuce. "

It was well deserved. Their total disregard for the antics of the incredible fraud Jayson Blair and the not-up-to-snuff Rick Bragg, both pets of Raines, put a howitzer in the foot of the gray lady. And Raines’s bullying management style meant there wasn’t a soul in the newsroom who would have peed on him if he caught fire, never mind throw him a life preserver.

Unfortunately, this has meant that all the conservatives who hate the Times — no doubt because its reporters use words with more than one syllable and can spell — are now alternately laughing and asking the public to question everything they read in " that liberal rag. " This may be the worst damage. But it does show what happens when people begin to take themselves far too seriously, and start creating a cult of personality. Blair evidently sucked up to Raines to such an extent that the former editor ignored warning flags the size of Times Square, and the result is an entire industry having to take it in the teeth.

Oh well. The Weekly World News is always looking for a few good men. Hey, Howell — seen any abominable snowmen or Bat Boys lately?

Over easy

Turnbuckles swathed in black crepe at Casa Diablo this week upon the death of famous pro wrestler Fred Blassie. A popular villain, Blassie coined the phrase " pencil-necked geeks, " and managed to get himself featured in the R.E.M.song, " Man On the Moon, " about the late comedian and wrestler wannabe Andy Kaufman (who, with his pal, Fred, did a spoof of My Dinner with Andre, entitled, My Breakfast with Blassie).

" Mr. Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess, " indeed.

Superior news

Back in March, the government determined that the Disney World theme park in Orlando, Florida, represented an inviting target to terrorists, and there has since been a no-fly zone over the area. Now, a group asks that the no-fly zone be removed. Is it representatives of Disney? Aviators who feel their civil liberties are being infringed? Airline companies whose routes have been disrupted? No, it’s the Virginia-based Family Policy Network and, according to the Associated Press, they want the no-fly zone removed to be able to fly banners over the area, protesting the 13th Annual Gay Days event.

While Gay Days is not a Disney program, many of the activities center around Disney World, and we’re pretty certain the Magic Kingdom has no complaints about the estimated 100,000 superior tourists who regularly attend. Last week, the Family Policy Network and a local advertising company were going to court to seek a temporary rollback on the overhead flight restrictions. Family Policy Network boneheads are trying to position this as a freedom of speech issue. Sounds like the same kind of stuff that the extreme right is always harping at liberals about.

It’s Pride Month once again here in the Biggest Little. Many years ago, P&J would list the events and encourage folks to get out and get into it, but, in recent years, Pride has just gotten bigger and bigger with more and more events and celebrations. In fact, there are so many things going on that listing them all would eat up most of this column. All we can say is " Happy Pride, " and once again, get out there and have a fabulous time. That means everybody.

And a tip of the sombrero to Anglicans in the Granite State who have elected the first out-diocesan bishop in the Episcopal Church. Certainly, this is a move that will cause dissension and rankle a certain number of Episcopalians, but to paraphrase the old Anglican book of Common Prayer, " it is meet, right so to do. "

A Bucket full of art

Although Providence continues to promote itself as the state’s great arts center (and in many ways, because of its history and resources, it is) another vital scene has been emerging in, of all places, Pawtucket. Now comes word that " American Partner T, " created by the US Conference of Mayors (currently meeting in Denver) and the American Management Services have cited Pawtucket as one of 28 cities lauded for the best small business practices. It was the only Rhode Island city so honored.

The city was specifically mentioned for " efforts to create an artist-friendly environment to artist and creative sector companies relocating to Pawtucket. "

While it is assumed that it takes at least 10 years to create a solid arts and entertainment district, Pawtucket, in a mere four and a half years, has made huge strides in doing just that. Rental rates are low, loft space in old mills plentiful, highway access is convenient, and most importantly, Pawtucket seems to have the vision and will to create a real arts community. So congratulations to Mayor Doyle, Herb Weiss, Morris and Phyllis Nathanson, and all the other Pawtucket boosters who helped remake what seemed like another dying Northeastern industrial city into an incubator for the arts. It’s still a work in progress, but this national honor indicates what P&J have been saying all along: Pawtucket is on the right track.

Send Pawtucket progeny and Pulitzer-grade tips to p&j@ phx.com