[Sidebar] July 1 - 8, 1999
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South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

[South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut] A new Canadian film opens in South Park: "Terence and Philip in Asses of Fire." The South Park children learn naughty language: "f*#k off you donkey-raping s#@t-eater." Terence slaps Brooke Shields on Conan O'Brien: "I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon." The South Park moms form M.A.C. (Mothers Against Canada) and become militant: "I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." Kenny goes to Hell and discovers that Satan and Sadam Hussein are lovers: "Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy." South Park plans to execute Terence and Philip: "Horrific, deplorable violence is okay as long as nobody says any dirty words." Canada declares war: "This is aboot democracy, it's aboot freedom of speech . . . " The children band together to save Terence and Philip, and Cartman gets all sensitive: "Kyle, every time I said you were a big dumb Jew I didn't mean it -- you're not a Jew." The army and the kids face off: "Stand down, children. You can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon." Kenny removes his hood, stops Satan from taking over the world, and brings peace to South Park. And it's a musical. At the Harbour Mall, Holiday, Showcase, Tri-Boro, and Woonsocket cinemas.
-- Jumana Farouky
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